For people who experience menstrual periods, menopause describes the point in life where periods stop permanently and the body is no longer able to get pregnant. This is a very natural part of aging, with the menopausal transition starting at the average age of around 52 years old and lasting for up to several years (anywhere from 2-8 years!).

During menopause, the body’s production of estrogen and progesterone (two hormones made by the ovaries) declines greatly. This change in hormone levels can cause symptoms such as: hot flashes, night sweats, trouble sleeping, joint and muscle discomfort, pain during sex, moodiness and irritability, forgetfulness, and/or difficulty concentrating. Symptoms may also be influenced by genetics, as well as external factors such as race and ethnicity, culture, lifestyle, and environment. And while menopause does happen as a result of ageing, it can also result from the surgical removal of both ovaries. 

You will know that you’ve reached menopause when you have not had a period or spotting for a full year. During this time, it is normal to experience changes in how your body looks and feels - including changes in bone density, heart health, body shape and composition, and physical function. 

Menopause and Sexual Health 

One common physical response to menopause is that sexual intercourse may become more painful and/or uncomfortable. This pain experienced during sex is called dyspareunia, and symptoms may include tightening of the vaginal opening, burning, itching and dryness (called vaginal atrophy). Relief can be found through doctor-recommended prescription hormones or treatments, or over-the-counter vaginal moisturizers and lubricants. During menopause, it is also important to eat healthy, stay active, and get enough calcium and vitamin D for optimal bone health. 

With all the changes happening to one’s body during menopause, it can feel like a scary life change looming over your daily life. But many also report a feeling of freedom - freedom from painful periods, the wisdom that allows one to communicate their needs and desires clearly, and less anxiety with sex as there is no longer a fear of getting pregnant. These life transitions can also create opportunities for older adults to redefine what sexuality and intimacy mean to them.

Q&A:  A Personal Experience with Menopause

Meet Luna Rune, a wise and luminous voice helping us explore this topic on a deeper level. Just as the moon moves through its phases, so too do we shift and evolve through life’s cycles. In this Q&A, the 62-year-old woman shares her deeply personal experience with menopause as a reminder that you aren’t alone but also that no two journeys are the same. 

Honey: What are some of the feelings that have come up since your body started the menopausal journey?

Luna Rune: Menopause started gradually for me. I had my last period at age 55 - some bleeding on my son’s wedding day, that is why I remember it so well.

Before menopause, my periods were hell (both emotionally and physically). I experienced heavy bleeding so extreme at times that my doctor put me on medication. I also had a procedure called endometrial ablation (a procedure that removes or destroys the lining of the uterus to reduce or stop heavy menstrual bleeding). During ovulation, I was also very emotional and bloated. So, in a way, I was looking forward to menopause.

I still get irritable without any clear triggers – rapid changes in my emotional state (sometimes rolling into a ball and having a good cry). There is a certain vulnerability that comes with aging – my body is aging, and I don’t like that very much. I don’t get many hot flashes, but when I do, they are manageable. I also don’t like that it’s harder to keep the weight off.

Some women mourn the loss of fertility and a sense of youth, but I see menopause as a rite of passage. I’m fortunate to be a youthful 62 years of age, and I am taking every advantage to enjoy life now.

Honey: How has menopause affected your sex life? 

LR: Menopause has affected my sexual life in a very big way. I was a very sexual person and was sexually active before menopause. Since then, my vaginal walls have become so thin and delicate that it is extremely painful during penetration.  Even when we use lubrication during intercourse, it is painful, and small tears happen that often cause some bleeding.

Pain is a barrier to our intimacy. We still have sex, however, not nearly as often as we used to. I feel fear around sex because of the excruciating pain, and it’s hard to relax when I know there is going to be pain.

My doctor has advised that there is medication available to help with this, but I prefer a more holistic approach. I like practicing pelvic floor exercises such as Kegels. As an energy healer, I’ve started using this approach along with meditation and deep breathing exercises to relax.

Honey: What has helped you the most through these changes?

LR:My partner and I have tried using Bliss (Intimate Earth Bliss Lubricant), which has cloves in it. Cloves provide a natural numbing effect, but I find the strength is not enough to numb the pain. The lubrication is great, though, as it helps with the dryness due to the hormonal changes. As I learn to relax more, the pain becomes more bearable, but I’m still anxious at times. I know there will be pain and my body takes on a freeze flight effect – ain’t no way we are allowing anything to enter the zone.

Honey: What advice would you give to others experiencing menopause in their life right now? 

LR:Menopause is a natural stage of life.  Normalize the experience – enjoy your life.

I believe in holistic wellness – nurturing my emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual bodies. I focus on maintaining a healthy lifestyle: regular exercise and a balanced diet. Reduce stress and stay hydrated!  There is a lot of information available on managing symptoms – educate yourself.  Keep a journal – what is working for you and what is not.  We may have the same parts, but we all operate differently.  Listen to your body, it knows what it needs.