This article was originally posted by Dr. Amber Hull on https://dramberhull.substack.com/p/my-favorite-toys-nsfw. Dr. Amber Hull is an internationally licensed,  Board-Certified Pediatrician and Integrative Women’s Health Specialist. She is currently accepting new patients for consultation on peri/menopause and integrative women's health at West Coast Women's Clinic in Kitsilano. 

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Now that I’m practicing peri/menopausal women’s health, I ask about libido during every patient encounter. The question is posed on a questionnaire but it opens the door to a discussion during the clinical session.

 

Case Scenario:

“You rate your libido as an 8 out of 10”, I say to my 75-year-old post-menopausal patient. “That’s wonderful! Do you have a partner?”

She responds, “Nope. Don’t need the hassle. I take care of myself.”

“I’m a huge proponent of self-love!” I say with a shared and knowing giggle. “And I hope my libido is an 8 out of 10 when I’m you’re age!”

My working hypothesis is that libido need not have an expiration date nor a partner. As the seasons of life change, there are times where sex becomes less of a priority. During the postpartum, medical workups or emotional crises, it’s common for intimacy to take a backseat to other priorities. But that doesn’t mean that libido can’t be refreshed at any stage of life. The play we enjoy at 70 may not look like the play we had at 20, 30 or 40. But with a little creativity and an open mind, plenty of joy is possible.

 

September is my Birthday month and it’s also Sexual Health Awareness Month. This is cause for celebration!

Whether you’re partnered, slogging through the wilds of dating or practicing self-love, this list of recommendations should come in handy. Enjoy!

 

The Rose aka “Old Faithful”

 

The vast majority of women require clitoral stimulation in order to achieve orgasm: a fact that remains mysteriously lost on a significant number of straight men. For this reason, my go-to recommendation for joy-toys for women is The Rose.

I call her “Old Faithful” because she comes through with an orgasm under any circumstance; partnered or solo. This is a toy that’s used on the vulva so it’s good for people who can’t or don’t want to receive penetration. Which means is can be used postpartum or in the context of vaginal pain/atrophy. In partnered situations where the man climaxes before the woman, this is a great option to ensure the lady partner leaves the situation feeling satisfied.

My favorite model is a suction toy but there are models that simulate rapid lingual movements. The surface area of the rose is about 3cm so it can be moved around the vulva to stimulate deeper parts of the clitoral body beyond the head of the clitoris; meaning it’s also great for the Warmup.

 

A good alternative that works well for partnered play is the WeVibe Melt 2 which has a smaller, more targeted surface area. For those Buying Canadian or not into import taxes on American products, the Canadian-based “Esmeralda” company makes the Roco Loco: a whisper-quiet little toy that’s perfect for travel or spaces where sound is a consideration. They also make a nice, rumbly cordless wand.

 

The Feather

This toy was a bit of a gamble (at $135 CAD) but it’s quickly become my second favorite in a sizable arsenal of equipment. Why?

The power of The Feather is intention. It brings focus to the body in a way that doesn’t center penetration as the Main Event. It can be traced along the brow line, around the eyes, down the earlobes, across the lips and pressed along the neck to the clavicles. I was surprised at how pleasant these sensations were when I tried the toy on myself.

When using it on someone else, it’s lovely to tune into their reactions to the touch. How their breath quickens. How they smile, squint or squirm with various pressures and surface areas.

For people who want to connect but don’t have either the ability or inclination to give/receive penetrative play, this little gem is a true delight! Also a great option for re-introducing intimacy after a dry spell.

Zalo Bess 2.0

This 5-in-one device offers a number of options for vaginal, anal or non-penetrative sensory play. Which means it can be used in a variety of ways on a variety of bodies.

It has a point stimulator, a tickler, a g-spot stimulator, anal beads and the handle itself is insertable. It has deep-rumbly vibrations with several settings and is made from body-safe silicone.

When inserting the toy, I recommend using condoms. Especially if you’re using the anal attachment or if you use the toy on multiple partners. The point stimulator and the tickler attachments are great for non-penetrative sensory play.

As with any toy, clean it thoroughly with soap and water after every use. The price point is about $120 USD which is less than what you’d pay for 5 different toys of comparable quality.

Naked Addiction

For men whose equipment has become unreliable or for women looking for a good artificial appendage, this is by-far the best option on the market. It comes in a several different sizes and skin tones and is made of body-safe silicone.

There are options that have a stable inner core so that the toy bends and stays in the shape that you put it in. This is an outstanding option for men who struggle with erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation. Fellas, if you successfully deploy a toy to pleasure your partner despite your physiological limitations, they will likely be grateful for your service. It’s also a great tool for lesbians who enjoy occasional phallic play, men playing solo and women who enjoy topping.

*A solid combination when paired with Her Royal Harness- Regal Queen.

WeVibe Vector 2

This is a powerful little prostate stimulator with a remote control. It’s not an entry-level toy but it’s a great addition to the party for those with experience.

This insertable is made of body-safe silicone and the shape provides stimulation to the perineum as well as the prostate. As with all insertables, I recommend condom use to keep the toy clean and odor free. Wash thoroughly between uses.

Icicles Handblown Glass

I’ve mentioned before that glass is great for butt play because it’s non-porous, super smooth and can be boiled for extra cleanliness.

A good starter toy is Number 72. Use No. 72 with caution in experienced players because this little toy can be accidentally disappeared into an experienced bottom if they’re very relaxed. For experienced players, make sure to use a toy with a wider flared base.

Pro Tip: This toy plays well in women when combined with The Rose.

Uberlube

By far my favorite lubricant. It’s pricey but has extraordinary staying power. Contrary to common advice on the internet, I use it with silicone toys. However, my insertable toys are typically wrapped in non-latex condoms. And I cleanse the toy immediately after use.

If you’re a US, Canadian or EU-based clinician, Uberlube has a program to provide free samples to doctors’ offices.

Skyn Elite Non-Latex Condoms

This is the only brand I’ve purchased for the last 5 years running. Enough said.

 

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I have not received any compensation for the products recommended in this article and the links are NOT affiliate links. These are my genuine, unbiased reviews. Honey’s happens to be my favorite local toy shop in Vancouver but you should be able to find these products elsewhere with a little searching. You can thank me for this intel by donating to the enterprise.