If there is one question about queer sex that can never get a consensus, it’s scissoring. Even lesbians, the official representatives of the sex act, cannot seem to agree on it. So is scissoring real? Does it even feel good?

Who actually does it? 

Let's begin with some basic definitions. Scissoring, tribbing/tribadism, and frotting are all terms used to describe the act of rubbing together ones' genital areas, or ones' genital areas to other parts of oneself or another person's body, for example, pubic bone hip thigh, or butt cheeks. The words tribbing and scissoring, historically speaking, referred mainly to a lesbian couple, whereas frotting refers more commonly to gay couples. But nowadays these terms can be used across different combinations of sexual partners and genders. Even though the term sciscoring is more widely recognized compared to tribbing, both words are often used interchangeably, because the exact difference between them is pretty fuzzy. Strictly speaking, tribbing is a general term covering the act of pressing one's privates to another's body parts; scissoring However is a term for a particular position. That said, you might find sciscoring positions that don't even allow direct genital contact, and there are also tribbing positions wherein the genitals are not in contact even one with another as in typical sciscoring with interweaving of the legs - we will delve deeper into this later at the position section.

BUT IS IT REAL?

Well, yes, of course. There is no reason for it not to be real. Creating friction against the genitals is very pleasurable for a lot of people, and if you can do it on each other’s bodies, then why not? 

WHY DO PEOPLE SAY IT IS NOT REAL?

One reason for the doubt might be the fact that scissoring is an extremely popular theme in mainstream porn, which often displays fake enjoyment and is often performed for the “male gaze”, thus it cannot be trusted to reflect what people with vulvas actually enjoy. For people with vulvas, these videos can also cast doubt on how it could be pleasurable at all, with many videos exhibiting a sort of dry “bumping” or “slamming”, rather than smooth waves of (lubricated) back-and-forth hip movements. 

Another reason for doubt is the myth that it requires “contortionism” or a high level of flexibility. It does not. If you can lie on your back or your side with your legs spread at least 45 degrees, then you can likely get into a position for scissoring. Alternatively, many positions allow for tribbing on other parts of the body (which I will talk more about later).

Even people who already know how the positions work may still have reservations about whether pleasuring via scissoring is enjoyable. The images surrounding the concept of scissoring, as well as the lesbian stereotyping of the act and highlighting scissoring on 'lesbian' porn, are reasons why those who identify as queer, with vulvas, might feel forced to like or engage in this sex act. When such expectation is imposed very highly, one may find himself/herself disliking scissoring which should not lead to guilt or self-blame. So if scissoring does not excite you the most, there is nothing wrong with it. After all, there are countless other ways of pleasing! Besides if you have only tried it once, you may want to attempt it a second time. It is also a fact that a couple may only get used to the position through multiple experiences until they find what makes them comfortable in a sexual act.

Tip: try out different scissoring positions in a silly, playful, low-pressure manner. Sometimes it’s best to remove the expectations and just play around until something feels good. It may surprise you when you least expect it!

At least one bottom line: scissoring is physically not compatible for the whole population, nor everyone will be fond of it; still, not everybody will get it right. Actually, Autostraddle's 2015 survey which had responses from 8,556 lesbian, bisexual and queer women shows that more than 40% of them regularly practiced scissoring.

TOYS

Hands-free toys, like the Chorus or Sync-O, are a great way of enhancing scissoring. One person can insert the internal part of the toy and place the external vibrator in a spot that feels good. The other person then simply lowers themselves onto the vibrator, controlling the pressure and the overall sensation for both of them.

Because of their long handles, wands are a nice fit for scissoring. While you're in the scissoring position of your choice, you simply place the head of the wand close to your genitals and easily hold on to the long handle. If strong wand vibes are not really your thing, the Lelo Smart Wand Medium is an excellent alternative as it carries the benefits of the wand shape but with the force of a smaller clitoral vibrator.

STIs AND LUBE 

If at least one partner is male, then a condom can effectively help you to reduce the risk of STIs. For vulvas, instead of penis-vagina sex, maintaining a consistent/reliable barrier may not be an option, considering that a dental dam may slide from its place with movement. A very effective way to lower the risk of STIs is to have all individuals involved regularly get tested for STIs and to have open conversations about STIs with new and existing partners.

Using lubricant when you are scissoring is essential. Besides heightening the pleasure, it helps prevent chafing and microof the delicate tissues. As Dr. Jen Gunter states in her book The Vagina Bible, " STDs enter the body through microscopic abrasions." Making sure that every sex act is adequately lubricated reduces the chances of microtrauma, which can cause a decreased risk of transmitting some STIs.

POSITIONS

“Leg Scissor”

A great position to start with! And the easiest for low flexibility. Essentially, one person is lying on top of the other with their legs staggered. Think about the person on top as straddling the bottom’s leg from above, and the bottom straddling the top’s leg from below. Then you can each grind on the other’s thigh! 

“Riding Scissor”

One person lies on their back with one leg on the bed and one leg up in the air. The other person straddles the leg that is on the bed, creating genital-to-genital or genital-to-thigh contact, and holds on to the leg that is in the air. The bottom gets to lie there, and the top gets to move back and forth, controlling the speed, rhythm, and pressure. This position requires the bottom person to be relatively flexible.

“Missionary Scissor”

This position does not require interwoven legs, but it does require some flexibility and strength. The bottom lies on their back and lifts their legs up and backward, allowing them to bend with gravity. This creates a bit of a seat for the top to straddle and grind back and forth. This position can be done either facing each other or facing away from each other. It can be tricky to maintain genital contact in this position, and it may not be comfortable for you. If it’s uncomfortable, simply move on! No need to do something you don’t like. I highly recommend a wand for this position, as its large surface area head will make the position easier by filling some of the space between you.

“Classic Scissor” 

The iconic image of scissoring. I’ll be honest, this one is hard to describe in words. I recommend just trying it out and adjusting until the legs are all in comfortable spots and no one is kicking each other in the face. Essentially, you want to stagger the legs like two pairs of scissors intertwined so that the genitals are making direct contact with each other. Keep in mind that in real life you will bend your legs, even though scissors can’t bend theirs. One variation I recommend trying is where one person is lying on their back with legs spread and bent, and feet flat on the bed (like you’re at the gynecologist). The other person will lie on their side, get one leg over the bottom’s pelvis, and one tucked (bent) underneath themselves. The top can grab onto the nearest leg for stability and leverage. As the top, finding where to put your legs can be the hardest part. Try playing around with each side of the bottom’s body, anchoring your knee on the side you’re facing or anchoring your foot on the side your butt is facing. There is no right or wrong way to do this, and there are infinite micro-adjustments that might make a world of difference. 

For movement, the trick is to start with just one person moving. This keeps the movement contained and makes it easier to pinpoint what feels good. It is also easier to maintain a consistent rhythm this way. The “classic scissor” position makes it such that one of you will be getting side-to-side stimulation and the other will be getting up-and-down stimulation. Experiment to figure out which of you prefers which.

If you’re trying positions and having a hard time getting the right contact and angles, try propping one or both of your butts up on a pillow or sex pillow. I recommend always propping a pillow under one or both of your butts,  trust me, it makes a big difference.

Generally, it can take many tries to get it right, so try different configurations, angles, props, and toys.

Happy scissoring!

FAQs

1. What is scissoring?
In a scissors position, sexual partners rub their genital areas by each other or with other body parts to create a pleasing friction.

2. Is scissoring a real sexual practice?
Actually, the scissors position is a real sexual act. A great number of people find this intimate contact extremely pleasing, Mainly when it is combined with other forms of physical contact.

3. What is the difference between scissoring and tribbing?
Rubbing is the general term for touching a partner's genital areas with one's sexual parts, but scissoring is usually connected to a particular position where the legs are intertwined.

4. What is frotting?
Frotting, as a rule, denotes the rubbing of sexual organs against each other which is the subject of most of the discussions in a homosexual group context.

5. Who can practice scissoring?
Male and female couples and people of all sexual orientations may practice scissoring or tribbing, provided that they are comfortable and derive pleasure from such actions.

6. Does scissoring require flexibility?
Many scissoring moves can be easily modified to suit various comfort levels and do not necessarily call for high flexibility.

7. Why do some people think scissoring is a myth?
Common false beliefs tend to arise from unrealistic displays in mainstream adult entertainment and the absence of correct sex education.

8. Does scissoring feel good for everyone?
No. Sexual tastes differ greatly, and not every person is into or even comfortable with scissoring.

9. Can beginners try scissoring?
Yes, novices can try various postures and make alterations as per the level of comfort and individual liking.

10. What is the easiest scissoring position for beginners?
Leg scissor pose is often thought to be a very basic and beginner-friendly pose.

11. Can sex toys be used during scissoring?
Yes, numerous people decide to use vibrators, wand massagers, and other kinds of hands-free toys to increase sensation.

12. What types of toys work well with scissoring?
Yes, couples' wearables, hands-free vibrators, and of course, the good old wand massagers are the most popular toys used for scissoring.

13. Is lubricant important for scissoring?
Absolutely, lubricant potentially makes things more comfortable, helps in diminishing friction-related irritation, and generally enhances pleasure.

14. What type of lubricant is best for scissoring?
Choosing the right lubricant really comes down to your tastes and what kind of toys you have But water-based ones are almost universally recommended.

15. Can scissoring cause irritation?
Not using enough lubrication might make the skin really sore in that area and quite uncomfortable due to friction.

16. Can sexually transmitted infections (STIs) be transmitted through scissoring?
Sure, there are STIs that may be contracted simply by skin-to-skin contact or by sharing bodily fluids.

17. How can partners reduce STI risks during scissoring?
Paying attention to the results of regularly checking for STIs, keeping each other well informed, and employing proper methods of protection can decrease the chance of contracting an STI.

18. Are dental dams useful during scissoring?
Dental dams are the kind of barrier people use for oral-vaginal or anal contact, but they usually slip with the slightest movement.

19. Is genital-to-genital contact necessary for scissoring?
For example, one type of tribbing is rubbing against thighs, hips, or other body parts without touching the genital area.

20. Why do people enjoy scissoring?
Tribbing is a great way of intimacy as it is based on proximity, touch, and friction, which a lot of people find satisfying.

21. Can scissoring lead to orgasm?
Some may have sexual climax by the act of scissoring, while others may require further stimulations as well.

22. What is the classic scissoring position?
The fundamental scissoring is where partners lace their legs to make genitals directly touch each other.

23. What is the riding scissor position?
The riding scissor position is one partner uterstrating, who is in controlling movement and pressure in this sex position.

24. What is the missionary scissor position?
Missionary scissor is a modification of standard missionary. One partner lies down while other straddles and moves to provide stimulation.

25. Can pillows improve comfort during scissoring?
Absolutely! Pillows or sex pillows can be very helpful in enhancing positioning, providing support, and increasing comfort during sexual activity.

26. How can partners make scissoring more comfortable?
Comfort and the pleasure of the experience can be increased by communication, the use of lubricants, experimentation, and the right supportive positions.

27. Is scissoring only for lesbian couples?
Genders and orientations differ; the sexual activities that bring people pleasure also do; the scissoring or tribbing may be enjoyed by all.

28. Why is communication important during scissoring?
By communicating the couple can change the speed and the way the movement of the partner or the location and the comfort levels during the intercourse.

29. How common is scissoring among queer women?
In most surveys and researches it was found that many lesbian, bisexual, and queer females engage in scissoring, or they have at least tried it.

30. What should partners do if scissoring feels uncomfortable?
Through communication they can identify what is right for them and the partner, they could be comfortable in any physical position, or use more lubricant; they also be helped by pillows and/or toys. They may even be able to find another form of intimacy that suits their liking.