Ménage à trois? Honey's Guide to a Happy and Successful Threesome

Communication, Communication, Communication Opening up a relationship to a third party can be an exciting fantasy come true, but in reality it can either be as fantastic as you imagined or a complete disaster. The most important thing is to make sure you and your partner have discussed and communicated your desires, wants and rules for opening your sensual playground to others. Throwing your inhibitions to the wind and just letting things happen can be exciting but the unfortunate result of a lack of communication and forethought could be the beginning of the end of your relationship. So here are a few thoughts to discuss before entering the world of threesomes:

1. Jealousy: What is jealousy to you? Even the most open an honest of couples can feel jealous, and introducing a third party can often add fuel to the fire. Feelings of inadequacy, insecurity, fears of abandonment or of being rejected are all causes or reactions to the feeling of jealousy. Thus communication is important so you can discuss your feelings and try to resolve any issues that may arise beforehand so that you will be able to enjoy your threesome completely without unnecessary worry about your partner's interest in the other person.

2. Rules: Setting ground rules before you actually participate in this fantasy is always a good idea. If you and your partner are otherwise monogamous and usually do use condoms then it is a good idea to make sure that when in the threesomes there are condoms and safety measures used. Setting up the rules beforehand can help stop any uncomfortable decisions during your play time. Also it is a good idea to communicate anything of which you would be uncomfortable sharing with the third person (kissing, penetration …etc), because you either want that to be special for just the two of you, or you're concerned for heath reasons, whatever the case may be it is a good idea to know where to draw the line.

3. That Third Person: Depending on your comfort level with choosing a person you can decide to pick someone you know, or find someone through acquaintances or online.
With someone you know: Whether a close friend or someone who you are in communication with on a regular basis can be rewarding, it can prove to have its challenges too. You could find yourself jealous because your friendship with this person has shifted, or if the communication and friendship has been established it could be very rewarding to open up your two-some to a three-some with someone you know and love. It can be trickier so communication is even more important amongst you, your partner and friend.
Acquaintances or Online: Finding someone with whom you have not been intimately acquainted with through online sites or friends of friends can often be easier emotionally on you and your partner. There can be less emotional entanglements for everyone involved and can be easier to terminate the relationship if it is not working for you because you are not concerned about also loosing their friendship. One of the downsides to this arrangement is that sometimes you can find someone and they may not be compatible or other issues arise from not knowing them well. Make sure to have a good screening process in place and take tests for safety measures as well if you are planning in advance.

4. Safety: When leaving the relative safety of a monogamous relationship you must concern yourself with health issues such as STD testing and preventative measures. Always use a condom if you are sharing fluids with the third party, unless the three of you are monogamous only to each other and have all been tested for STD's and HIV. Also, with HIV you must wait for usually 6 months and then get tested again because certain antibodies may not show up right away, so if you're wishing to go the non-barrier method be sure to use a barrier for those 6 months before everyone gets tested again. Also barrier methods prevent unwanted pregnancies.