What’s the Difference? Dildos and Vibrators

Dildos are often confused as vibrators when in truth they are an entirely different entity. To help you understand the differences and similarities, as well as guide you in the right direction we have put together some key points about dildos and vibrators.



Dildos

What is a dildo?

A dildo is a flexible toy with a soft and bendable shaft. More often than not, they have a flanged or wide base. A dildo does not have a motorized centre so it will not vibrate on its own. The shapes and colors vary from toy to toy but you can have a very realistic phallic shape to ones that are ribbed, swirled, curved, or even shaped like animals.

Why use a dildo?

A dildo can be used with a harness for anal or vaginal penetration, the wide base allows the dildo to be inserted into a harness and kept there with a metal or plastic ring. They do not contain a motor so they are very soft and flexible throughout the entire length to enhance internal stimulation. Often dildos are curved so you can stimulate the g-spot or prostate.

Vibrators

What is a vibrator?

Vibrators are similar to dildos but all vibrators have an internal motor that allow for different movements like vibration, thrusting, spinning pearls, and rotation. The internal motor contained in the vibrator makes part of the length firm and less flexible as compared to a dildo. The base is not flanged but rather usually contains the battery compartment and speed/function controls. Vibrators can be as small as a one inch bullet, phallic shaped, smooth, textured, branched, or curved. Vibrators like dildos can be made of a hard plastic or soft.

Why use a vibrator?

Vibrators can be used both internally and externally for vaginal, clitoral, and anal simulation. Why choose a vibrator over a dildo? The vibration of the toy can add more sensation and pleasure to the nerve endings for both partners.

In most instances a vibrator can be used as a dildo by just leaving the motor off. Though the toy can be harder than a soft dildo you can get the same internal stimulation. In certain situations such as using a harness you cannot use a vibrator, the dildo has a flexible body that allows you to easily slip it into a harness and the flanged base keeps it steady. Most vibrators do not have the wide base needed for a harness.

Why choose vibration?

For women in general the most pleasure is derived from the massive nerve ending located in the clitoris and inner inch or so of the vagina. Vibration allows you to stimulate these nerve endings easily solo or with a partner. Most women will orgasm more easily from clitoral stimulation than penetration on its own, so adding a vibrator to your playtime can be very beneficial.

Why choose no vibration?

Everyone is different and not all women like vibration, some far prefer the penetration sensation and do not want to be distracted by a vibrator. The dildo allows for penetration without vibration and is softer and more flexible than a vibrator. For medical reasons many women need help as they get older or to maintain elasticity of the skin if they have suffered vaginal scarring, a dildo can help ease them into the sensation of penetration without the firmness of a vibrator.

As you can see Vibrators and Dildos are similar but different and it is a personal choice to choose the ones you like and to try each for different reasons. Having a variety of options in your toy box will help you discover your sexual pleasures and preferences, and to ultimately enjoy your body to the fullest.

Pegging

There has been a tremendous increase in anal play between straight men and women (also known as pegging) over the eight years Honey has been in business. We are delighted to see how sexually at ease many couples have become. The stigma that one must be gay or anal sex damages ones body has been debunked and we have some tips to share on how to enjoy anal play safely while making the experience even more pleasurable for both partners.

Anal play is a great way to stimulate the prostate (p-spot), which is the male equivalent of the female g-spot. The prostate can be easily stimulated with a well-lubed finger curved towards the belly button two to three inches into the rectum. A man can have an orgasm just by slowly stimulating the prostate or intensify his orgasm by stimulating both the p-spot and the penis. A small vibrating toy or a full dildo preferable with a curve can be an excellent addition. The important thing to remember about anal play is that it is suppose to be fun and pleasurable, so communicating what you like or dislike is key to enjoying yourself. Take your time and go slowly with plenty of foreplay.

Key Points of Enjoyable Anal Play/Pegging:

1. Cleanliness: Good hygiene is important when exploring anal play; be sure to keep your hands clean and your nails trimmed when using fingers to explore. Make sure you have chosen toys that can be easily cleaned and/or sterilized after use and NEVER insert anything that has been in your anus into your vagina or mouth until after it has been cleaned.

2. Communication: Making sure to keep the lines of communication open at all times. From initiating anal play all the way to enjoying it, you want to make sure your partner is comfortable with each step along the way.

3. Relaxation: Anal play can be painful especially if you have not taken the time to prepare yourself and relax into the sensation. Rushing can cause discomfort and can make you or your partner resistant to trying it again, so make sure to take your time and go at a comfortable pace for both you and your partner.

4. Lubrication: ALWAYS USE LUBE. The anus itself does not produce any lubrication and if you try to play with dry skin you can easily hurt the thin skin of the rectum. To help ease the way for your fingers or toys, it is essential to use a good lubricant for a comfortable and enjoyable back door play session. Apply lubricant liberally and don't be afraid to add more during, it will only increase the pleasure. Some great suggestions for anal play are Slippery Stuff water based lubricant. This lube is gel like in texture providing a thicker barrier between the toy/finger and delicate anal tissue. Another good option is a silicone based lubricant because they do not dry out even under water. Try ID Millennium or Jo Silicone based lubricant, but make sure you don't use the silicone lube with a silicone sex toy.

5. Once you've mastered the basics and feel comfortable with anal play you can introduce toys, harnesses, and dildos and so much more into your anal play.

Harnesses: Using a harness allows you to strap a dildo to yourself with comfort and stability. It also allows you the versatility of changing the size of your dildos with interchangeable rings that can accommodate different sizes. The Venus Leather Harness and Vibrating Velvet Corset Harness are both sturdy and allow for different sizes of dildos while still being soft and comfortable.

Dildos: You may prefer to start with a smaller dildo when first venturing into anal play as this can help ease the transition from fingers to toys without being too imposing. The Bend Over Beginner kit provides you with a velvet harness and two different sizes of dildos to transition you from a smaller dildo to larger one and accommodating rings for even larger dildos if you desire. The Fun Factory Bandito and Tiger are flexible silicone dildos with wide bases that can easily fit into harnesses to provide different textures and curves for more variety in sensation. When using a dildo we recommend using one with a slight curve upwards to help stimulate the prostate and fit more naturally with the body.

Double Ended Dildos: The double ended dildo is a great way to experience anal play without the harness getting in the way of skin on skin contact. This type of dildo also provides both partners with simultaneous stimulation. The Fun Factory Share and Tango allow you to insert the bean shaped blunt end into your vagina and you hold it in place with the strength of your kegal muscles. The vaginal end also curves for g-spot stimulation in her. After you have inserted the `bean' shaped end, you are left with the dildo pointed outward and held close to your body so you can enjoy the sensual skin to skin contact during your anal play. These sex toys can also be inserted into a harness when first starting out so that you can strengthen your kegal muscles before trying it on its own. The Tango also has the added benefit of a hole at the base of the toy for inserting a bullet so you get the benefit of vibrations sent down the shaft and into the vaginal end.

Always remember that anal sex is not supposed to hurt. If it is painful, stop and engage in more foreplay or try it again another night. If you are concerned about cleanliness, you can always use an anal douche with warm water 1-2 hours before you engage in anal play.

Educate yourself with wonderful DVDs such as The Better Sex Guide to Anal Pleasure and Tristan Taormino's Expert Guide to Anal Sex.

New Years Resolution: Put yourself First…Female Masturbation

Masturbation is healthy. It has many emotional and physical benefits and best of all it feels good. So this year we should promote self awareness and discovery, both emotionally and physically. Start by taking your pleasure to new heights all by yourself, and you will find that by learning your body you will help both your relationship with yourself, but also with your partner.

Preparing yourself for Pleasure

There are many ways in which you can prepare yourself to give yourself pleasure, just as you would if you were preparing for a partner.

Make yourself feel sexy. Just as if you were getting ready for a hot date with your partner, preparing yourself for a fun evening home alone is also beneficial. Shaving and trimming your hair, from your legs to you pubic area will help make you feel beautiful, you feel sexy. Having a long and sensual bath to help yourself relax and enjoy your body is also and fun way to prepare for the bedroom.

Set up your room. Prepare the room in which you plan to enjoy yourself. Light your favorite scented candles and turn on some music, turn down the lights and put any toys, lubricant or erotic literature you plan to use within easy reach.

The best advice would be to be relaxed as you masturbate. Involve all parts of your body like the breasts and nipples. Become aware of how it feels to you so you can bring that feeling back or share it with your lover later. Don’t try to have an orgasm, just release yourself and enjoy your body. Give yourself permission to experience intense sexual pleasure.

Accessories: Toys, Books, DVDs

There is no right or wrong way to masturbate; as long as it feels good then it is good. Women can use anything from your fingertips to toys and anything from books to videos to enhance their pleasure.

Clitoral Vibrators: Vibrating toys are a fun and satisfying way to enhance your sensual pleasure. They help by providing the intense vibration externally to your clitoris and vulva area. This can help bring orgasm much quicker and with more intensity. Some popular clitoral vibrators are the Lelo Nea and the Fun Factory Layaspot. They have a great curve that fits nicely over the women’s pelvis and a variable speed button so you can choose the right intensity for you. Tease yourself at the low speed or fast and intense.

Internal Vibrator or Dildos: Dildos and vibrators that can be used internally as well as externally are especially fun and fulfilling. You can get the fullness and penetration from these toys or use them externally for clitoral stimulation. Dildos such as the Fun Factory Curve do not provide any vibration so it is often nice to add a clitoral vibrator like the simple Silver Bullet for external pleasure. Or use a dual action sex toy like the Rabbit Habit that provides both internal penetration as well as clitoral stimulation at the same time. Have you tried stimulating your G-spot? Customer favorites have been the Lelo Gigi or the G-spot E-glass. You don’t need to penetrate your vagina with toys but it may help, it is a personal preference.

Books and DVDs: Erotic literature and movies are sexy and exciting ways to rev your mind and body into thinking and feeling sensual and excited. Books such as The Mammoth Book of Erotica or Aqua Erotica are easy to read and provide an exciting array of fantasies to prime your mind into thinking sensually. Arousing the largest sexual organ-the brain; will arouse your body. Studies have shown women are just as aroused as men when it comes to watching erotic movies. You just need to do a bit of research as to which movies would be more appealing to you. There are plenty of X-rated films now directed by women for women.

Masturbation is meant to be a fun and enjoyable way of self discovery, free from guilt and worry. It is a healthy and beautiful way to enjoy yourself, and learn about your sensual body and all the orgasmic pleasures it can receive. This new communication with yourself is often helpful both in your sexual relationships but also in loving yourself more completely. So in 2009, love yourself and have fun doing it!